So there I was in Target walking between the greeting card isle and the designer lotion isle. A smile came across my face, I had a moment of presence. I was watching people pass me with their carts. Picking up their essential and nonessential items. This was a moment of being normal. Just existing in American society.
In high school, I would not have shopped at target, because I was all about name brands. In college, I wouldn't have shopped at Target because I would be feeding the corporate machine adding to our consumeristic and wasteful culture. Now, today, I am happy to be out of the house. I am happy to participate in our culture, even if it is shopping at Target. I know it is not the most spiritually enriching activity. However today I felt like I was a normal person, not a cancer person. My energy was in the moment not tied up in guilt or judgement about shopping. It was a nice moment.
This Target moment was also about having some energy. I have been sick for the past 8 days and it has been rough. Lots of coughing and laryngitis. I have been silent for the better part of the last few days. My back is really hurting from all the coughing too. I finally got some antibiotics and feel better. I am still coughing like crazy at night but I think this cold will end. At work I am always writing about those that are at risk for various diseases. It is usually premature infants, pregnant women and immunocompromised. Let me tell you being an immune suppressed person can be the pits. This is a club you do not want to join.
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