Well the truck is in overdrive beating me down. Managed some breakfast this morning, waffle, blueberries and warm lemon water. I feel like I have the flu, aches, pains and a headache. Canyon is full of energy ready for the day. Thankfully there are three loving adults here to meet his needs, so I can rest. I think it is funny since I have been dealing with cancer I feel like I should enter contests. Maybe part of my psyche believes I deserve a break from all this and so maybe I could win. Another source of hope. A way to fantasize out of pain and suffering. I imagine winning would result my life would be Like a commercial on TV, I would look very happy, probably laughing at something cute my child said. The mood would be playful and my family would be holding hands in a warm tropical climate on a beach. Everyone would look and feel well rested and sun-kissed with health. The only stress of the day is which beach to enjoy and where to eat dinner. I guess the advertisements on tv and in magazines create these images to make us want more then what we have.
Okay I am in back in my reality. It will and always does change. I have had moments in my life of tropical paradise and pure joy. I have been blessed to travel the world and live in another culture. Step outside my own culture norms and learn other ways of living life. I am lucky to have such a wonderful family and community of support.
This cancer culture I have been living in these past two years continuously tests me. Ya think? (sarcasm self replies) I am sure we all say it, cancer is not supposed to happen to me or my family.
Sent from my iPhone
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