Thursday, November 10, 2011

Take on Me - Aha

Yesterday was bittersweet. I had the energy and the independence to drive from Bellingham to Seattle. I felt like I was on a road trip, listening to my music and looking a the stunning fall colors. I wanted to keep driving to some little town and go exploring. However my destination was back to the hospital clinic for a  consult with the Thoracic surgeon. Walking back into the doors of the hospital I felt sad. I was the patient, not the nurse, who would be helping others. Not giving information but getting information. I was the one who needs help.

During my consult I learn that my PET scan indicates that there are glowing cancer cells along my chest wall near my sternum. Removing it is not as easy as I had hoped. The moveable tumor below my scar will easily be removed but during my previous surgery, the doctor went between two of my ribs to remove the tumor in my lung and that part is glowing. So part of my ribs, cartlidge and sternum need to be removed. They will use some material, possibly gortex to recreate a "wall" and then a plastic surgeon will cover it with my pectorial muscle. So no outpatient procedure for me, 3-5 days in the hospital with a chest tube.

I scheduled it for Monday. Lets get it done. It is amazing that in one afternoon this procedure was actually coordinated. I will have the thoracic surgeon, his fellow, a plastic surgeon and a urologist working their magic on my frankenstein body. I am getting a stent for my kidney at the same time. I think I am an interesting case because the doc had never seen cancer come back like this, oh lucky me. The docs spent a lot of time looking at my chest and trying to figure out how they could cut and remold me, which was kind of bizarre.

I am truely becoming a bionic woman. I am nervous and disappointed to have to be hospitalized but I know I will be in good hands. I will continue to do what it takes to heal and appriciate the love I have in my life. As always I am grateful for all the prayers and healing thoughts. My body is changing but my spirit is strong. I have to believe that this is all part of a bigger plan and that I must be gaining some soul development through this journey. I surrender to the path.


1 comment:

Sandi said...

Lots of love and prayers Alexis. A big squeeze of a hug too.

I'm so glad that you update this blog so we can stay informed on what your specific needs are.

As you continue walking so strongly forward you are beautiful and awe inspiring.

The love and determination, courage and strength radiates on and on and on and has inspired so many of us.

Sending prayers and thoughts of peace and positive vibrations your way. May you breathe in and feel all the love.