The first week of treatment felt like torture. I wanted to crawl under a rock and hide. I felt like I was doing a cancer walk of shame everyday. I felt defeated and sad to be back at the cancer treatment center. On top of the gloom I felt icky and found out I had a UTI my first day of treatment. After 3 days of antibiotics my physical state started to improve and I felt like a human again, or at least semi human. I am still trying to manage my leg/foot pain. A cane seems to help.
On a positive note, a highlight of my treatment has been all the friends that have volunteered to drive me to and from appts. I have reconnected with so many friends that I rarely get to see. This has helped give me the energy I need to face the day and the chronic pain.
On the clinical side of my story, I continue to get daily radiation that takes about 15 minutes which is mostly set-up time. The radiation machine is above me while I lay in a mold of my upper body. The techs attach a "cone" to the machine. It's like camera lens. Then they slide in a square like aperture with a shape cut out from the middle. To my surprise the shape looks like the continent of Africa. This is placed over my chest and matched up with the large sharpie drawing on my chest. There is one other puzzle piece shaped like a square to complete my treatment area.
Chemotherapy seems mostly benign compared to the other chemos I have weathered. It is an hour infusion and I get to decide how much hydration I need, usually I go for about 300cc of NS. I usually pee a lot and don't sleep very well because of steroids. I have no other side effects.
Friday I had an appt. with the doctor who will set up my cyber knife treatment. We reviewed my PET/CT and looked at the cancer in my left vag. The plan is that he will implant/place markers in the cancer site. These markers will embed in the site for a week and then I will have a CT to guide the cyber knife directly to the cancer/markers. He believed he could eradicate the cancer with an 80-90% success rate! That is a rate I like. It will take around 6 daily treatments. So it looks like I will be in Seattle another week or two after I finish my general chest wall radiation. However I feel a little more hopeful that I will be cancer free for a while. I would welcome being pain free too but I don't think that will be happening anytime soon.
Monday I get to show up at the hospital at 5:45am to be put under for a routine outpatient procedure. Time for a new urinary stint. They need to be changed every 3-4 months and the expiration day is here hence the UTI. I tried to get the cyber knife doc to place the markers at the same time but there wasn't enough time.
There is the practical low down. The emotional low down is erratic. I haven't really left the house much due to pain. I do go outside to get fresh air. My son is with me for 4 days and up in Bellingham with papa for 3. It creates a little stability for him and I get some complete rest days. I sleep a lot. Hubby seems like he is working harder than he should. This lifestyle can be very draining. I don't recommend it at all.
At the end of the day when I am lying down with my son I think again about giving thanks. It is always about people- family, friends. I especially let him know how thankful I am to have him in my life. My main inspiration to madness.
Sent from my iPhone
2 comments:
Oh, Alexis. My heart goes out to you. Here's a big burst of love and strength coming from me to you.
Alexis, think of you and family often. It all sucks but your spirit is inspiring.
Caitlin E.
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