- Many Women Can Have Cervical Cancer Test Every 3 Years: Study - Yahoo! News

Interesting article. In an ideal world, you would come to a joint decision with your HCP based on acog recommendations, test results, personal history. Personally having a history of yearly paps and no abnormal results, who knows what would have been if I waited 3 years to be tested. Food for thought. I am a rare case anyway.

> Many Women Can Have Cervical Cancer Test Every 3 Years: Study
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> http://news.yahoo.com/s/hsn/20110520/hl_hsn/manywomencanhavecervicalcancertestevery3yearsstudy
>
> ============================================================
> Yahoo! News
> http://news.yahoo.com/

One thing leads to another - the Fixx

I made it to round 5. Today was another waiting game and a blessing in disguise. The hospital was full and my 11:00 admit time was moved until 4pm. I was stuck in traffic for an hour trying to get here. So I check in a 5:15. Usually the admission process takes hours and I was anticipating being here until Saturday morning instead of a Friday night discharge. Talk about a test of giving up control. When i arrived, my nurse said my chemo medication was ready and the infusion was changed from 20 hours to 18 hours. So I was hooked up and was getting infused within an hour. My room has a view of Mount Rainer and I was able to spend the most beautiful day outside with my son. What a mixed blessing getting bumped. It looks like I will be out of here by 5 pm tonight.

I only slept 3-4 hours last night. Silly meds and counter meds. Hopefully I will rest later.
So far so good. Just waiting for the fatigue to set in.

Hold On - Wilson Phillips

I do still exist. It is a good thing when I am blogging less. It means I have a vertical life. I am up and out in the world and not at home in bed. Last week, I went into work 4 days in a row, for a few hours each day. It felt like I was having a semi-normal life. At work there was, as always, a lot of unknowns and changes. More opportunity to be open to what may unfold and enjoy the ride. I am lucky to work where I do. So blessed.

It is so nice to feel good during my "good" week. I have energy again. I have to hold on to this feeling and remind myself that energy comes back.

I have been taking what I call risks. I have a lot of fear about going on a long walk and being out in public and getting stuck because of lack of energy or pain. God forbid i would have to ask for help. It keeps me from being very physically active. This week I was so thankful to have energy. I decided to push myself a little, take a risk.

On Saturday, I parked 6 blocks from the farmers market and walked with my little 35 pounder in my arms (he didn't want to walk) through town. It was just the two of us and I felt powerful and almost normal. Just a bald mom and her toddler going to the market. It gave me confidence that I can go on longer walks, to the playground and my body is capable.

My body has been so messed with that I have very little trust in what I can or can't do. Of course it changes week to week with chemo. So for me, Saturday was a BIG deal. Today I walked to the playground and went down the slide with Canyon. It was fine. I didn't break. I made it home.

I just can't believe that only 5 years ago I was training for a marathon and running 5ks and half marathons, feeling so strong and fit. I mourn the loss of running. But hey, who knows what I will be capable of 5 years from now.

The real message here is to remember this energetic time when I am in the arm pit of my bad week (this upcoming week). Remind myself that I get better.

Here's to my second to last chemo. A friend that gives really f'n tough love. Cheers.

Sent from my iPhone

Express Yourself - Madonna

In December I participated in the reverb#10 project. I would describe it as a personal writing reflection/goal setting exercise reviewing 2010. http://www.reverb10.com/

Now the website has monthly prompts to continue writing and personal reflection. The May prompt is: What is shifting in your life? Have any of the seeds you planted in reverb10 manifested? Sounds like a good time to address this prompt, so here it goes.

I looked back at my reverb10 responses. A lot of my reflection was about fighting cancer and wanting to move on with my life, not live scan to scan, and close the cancer chapter. Well of course, I still want that to manifest.

So far in 2011, I haven't had the luxury of living without cancer and it playing a big role in my life. I have done some emotional work since December. Cancer has been knocked out again according to my latest scan. My shifting is perception. I don't see myself fighting cancer anymore but I am more of a transformation artist. I see cancer as an energy draining force. It's like a pessimistic person that sees the bad side of everything. Like Debbie Downer from Saturday Night Live, everytime cancer shows up, I hear the post Debbie Downer comment sound effect, wah, wah.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XW12eSDqFi8&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Cancer is a taker, a black hole and has a bad attitude. I see my white blood cells, chemo, food, body work, love, meditation as bright light energy that is turning cancer's frown upside down into bright healthy light energy. I am still evolving, I see that as a positive shift.

One of the reverb prompts in December was to choose a word for 2011. I chose "expression" as my word. I think that it has been appropriately assigned. I have been a steady blogger and open to sharing my process with anyone. I have not been willing to let this disease isolate or shame me, at least electronically. I speak my mind, feelings and insecurities.

I have been dressing more expressively which is a polite way to say that I have lost my sense of dressing normal, it's all about comfort and meaning. I really enjoy my one size fits all brown sweater/blanket like wrap, that has been deemed, my flying squirrel sweater (not a good sign) but I feel cozy and comforted wearing it. I am also enjoying my rainbow and rocket knee-high socks (must be some form of compensation for being bald. More attention to the body less to the head.) Yes, I wear them together. Whatever works, I try not to judge myself but go with it. It is all part of the healing puzzle(that is what I tell myself).

I guess the manifestation and shifting lesson for me is to be who I am and right now, cancer is a part of my story. It is not who I am, but we definatley have had a love hate relationship for the past 2 years. So for now, I am a transformation artist and the energy CEO of my body.(can I put that on my resume? It sounds impressive, one is creative the other so corporate.)I am manifesting health and transforming the wah, wah.

Manic Monday -The Bangles

Monday morning, I want to have a busy day full of accomplishments and efficiency. The western curse, needing to always be " doing" something. We ask each other, "what do you do?" Working is valued. Even while at home during this treatment, i think about what I can get done. Some organizing here maybe a creative project there. Well it all takes energy, physical, emotional and spiritual. The value of my energy stock is very high right now, it is in high demand with scarce amounts available to myself and the public.

Having lived in another culture, I recognize this "doing" culture is not all together healthy. Actually, you don't need to live in another culture to realize that. When I was in Benin, a common phrase people would say was, "good sitting". I found this to be quite funny. How can you be praised for sitting when your not doing anything. The western way is quite illuminated outside your own home. Over time I realize that the value was in being there, putting in the time, not forcing things to happen. Here in our culture we are busy bees or work ants, always have a mission underway. And again the goal is finding balance, being in the middle. Sometimes that answer is disappointing. I wish there was an easy path with listed steps of how to achieve balance (that is so American of me). Then when I reach my goal, I would get a gold star sticker and be content.

Today, I have a burning sore throat and am trusting that it is chemo related and not viral or passed on from Canyon's fever episode last week (which is now a mild cold/cough). I have to remind myself to check my energy stock today. Lab draw today.

Happy Monday and good sitting

Sent from my iPad