Manic Monday -The Bangles

Monday morning, I want to have a busy day full of accomplishments and efficiency. The western curse, needing to always be " doing" something. We ask each other, "what do you do?" Working is valued. Even while at home during this treatment, i think about what I can get done. Some organizing here maybe a creative project there. Well it all takes energy, physical, emotional and spiritual. The value of my energy stock is very high right now, it is in high demand with scarce amounts available to myself and the public.

Having lived in another culture, I recognize this "doing" culture is not all together healthy. Actually, you don't need to live in another culture to realize that. When I was in Benin, a common phrase people would say was, "good sitting". I found this to be quite funny. How can you be praised for sitting when your not doing anything. The western way is quite illuminated outside your own home. Over time I realize that the value was in being there, putting in the time, not forcing things to happen. Here in our culture we are busy bees or work ants, always have a mission underway. And again the goal is finding balance, being in the middle. Sometimes that answer is disappointing. I wish there was an easy path with listed steps of how to achieve balance (that is so American of me). Then when I reach my goal, I would get a gold star sticker and be content.

Today, I have a burning sore throat and am trusting that it is chemo related and not viral or passed on from Canyon's fever episode last week (which is now a mild cold/cough). I have to remind myself to check my energy stock today. Lab draw today.

Happy Monday and good sitting

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