Do They Know Its Christmas? -Band-Aid

I am tired of being tired. Recovering from surgery takes time and I am impatient. The holidays are here, I want to make carmels and cookies, play with Finley, wrap presents, clean house and run errands. There is just not enough time in the day, nor is there enough energy in my body. Realistically, I can accomplish one maybe 2 of the items on my list. Then I have to let go of the rest. Easier said than done. 

It gets old listening to my body, wondering about the symptoms I feel and what they might indicate. I am constantly trying to manage my symptoms or prevent new ones. It is exhausting to think about it. I did too much today. We are not a culture that slows down, we are a culture of multitasking and doing. I am a doer, before I had my baby and cancer I could do so many things in a day. I was a doer. 

When I was in West Africa in the Peace Corps, I was happy to accomplish 1-2 items per day. These items were simple tasks like walk through the village, eat and read. The culture I lived in was more about relationship and community and less about stuff and doing. They have a saying that is so contrary to our work-obsessed culture, in the U.S. we say "nice work" and "good job. In West Africa I often heard people say  " Bonne Assise (good sitting)". I was actually complimented on how well I sat. That's it, I am having a Peace Corps kind of day. I know what I can do, I can look at my body like it's foreign land or language that I am trying to learn (well it is). "Bonne Assise". Well that made me feel better about if for a second or two. I am done with today, I hope for more energy tomorrow.