Wednesday, August 25, 2010

On and On - Jack Johnson

It is late and I have been told that getting adequate sleep can reduce your chance of getting cancer, or at least help you heal. Well I know it is an important one. Right up there with stress level. so I will make it short and sweet. As to not create to much internal stress by my lack of sleep. Oh you really can 't win. I guess I just have to live and not try so hard all the time. I forgive you self.

update: I completed my scan on Monday. The nurse called Tuesday and said that the preliminary report shows PET uptake in the area of the biopsies, where there are known cancer cells but NO WHERE ELSE. Yeah! so it is still local. In T- 14 days I will have a new ass and vag. That sounds totally crazy. The day of my scan I met the plastic surgeon who will be rebuilding the back side of my vag and perinieum. He was great. He answered all of my questions. He and his resident did an exam and were very impressed by my vag, because of all of the radiation I had they were surprised at how healthy she looked. This was the first time any doctor has said anything positive to me in a long time. So thank you for that.

next step: to Portland/OHSU for 2nd opinion then back to Seattle for a 3rd opinion. I am going to go listen to "my own healing island" now. Aloha

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Help- The Beatles

You all have been supporting me through this cancer journey/ordeal/insanity that started back in March 2009. Thank you. Brandon and I are thankful to have such wonderful friends in our life.

I am sorry to say that we have a new hurdle in our path. I had multiple biopsies taken last week and some came back positive for cancer. They are the same cancer cells from my primary cancer. Those bastards will not die. Even my oncologist was shocked with the results. The cells are still pretty microscopic at this point and are literally a pain in my ASS. This situation is total bullshit and all I want to say is FUCK cancer. There, said it.

My oncologist said it can be cured. The "cure" is a major surgery to cut out the cancer which is now in my rectum. I will have to live with a colostomy for the rest of my life. This treatment is only done if they can pretty much guarantee a cure.

My next step is to get another PET/CT scan to verify the cancer is not anywhere else in my body. This seems unlikely because I had a clear scan just 2 months ago. I am also going to see an ass specialist, to see if he can save my ass. And get another opinion about treatment options.

As you can imagine this pretty much sucks and B and I are riding a roller coaster of emotions daily. My surgery is scheduled for September 7th at U of W. I will be in the hospital at least 7 days then recovering for 6+ weeks up in Bellingham.

We definitely need some help through this one. It is pretty scary right now. I am thinking of ways that friends and family can help. I am working on a list to make this life change easier on us. Most of all I request that you send healing thoughts, prayers and positive energy our way. I am at the point in this insanity to just ask for what I need and not feel the least bit guilty. So here it is.

Here is my list so far:
suggestions for funny stories, videos, books
suggestions for inspiring books or videos
suggestions for healing books, videos ect..
meal train once we return to bellingham- someone who can coordinate this via email
prayers and positive energy
recommendation of practioners that can help with the healing process (i.e. massage, acupuncture, energy healing)
house cleaning
picking-up Canyon after child care (while I am on weight restriction)
helping me with Canyon before Brandon gets home from work
Help with Canyon some Saturdays (Brandon works those days)
Man-dates for Brandon- get him out to have fun and enjoy some friend time.
Play dates for Canyon
gardening
grocery shopping
visiting me during recovery
letting me laugh or cry on your shoulder
Someone go see Hall N Oates for me at the Puyallup fair (I bought tickets but won't be able to go)
Maybe to go out dancing or karoke before surgery

I am also considering an impromptu good bye party for my ass before the surgery. I know this sounds random but why not. I need to have fun too. FYI I am also open to hearing all butt jokes.

And remember I will be the most beautiful girl you will ever know with a colostomy and fuck cancer.